Not the final sacrifice yet...

Came back from the hospital yesterday in the late afternoon. Already 5 days since surgery seems so unreal when I think of all the things I went through in that amount of time. It's probably a joke for people who've always been confronted to surgery and hospitals, but I will never get used to it. The first time when I removed some eggs I looked like a rabbit caught in headlights most of the time. This time around, I was a bit more relaxed (thanks to a very lovely and smiley neighbour called Nejia), but still pretty shocked. Not sure if I'd have made it if it hadn't been for Nejia actually. She had had a mastectomy the day before. Divorced and with 2 still very young kids, she is the happiest person I'd ever met in my life. Smiling all the time and praising God for whatever is to come. I was so impressed... I wish I were that strong.

I arrived on Thursday for all the pre-ops, which are a bunch of tests you do before surgery. Everything was Ok except for that cough I was carrying with me since London. Surgery wasn't fixed until the final test: the anaesthesiologist's opinion. Didn't seem to bother her that much.

So, surgery started next day at 11am. It's normally 1H30 but mine took 2H30... they had to remove more tissue than expected. And Dr. D also wanted to save my breast and leave it looking acceptable, so he took his time. I'm so grateful for what he did. But it's not over yet... Not only did he remove the lump, but also ALL the lymph nodes in my arm. As a result, I had 2 drains inserted. One in my arm and one in my breast. There's no way I could describe the pain and discomfort involved, cause I'm still in it. Even though the drains have been removed... with excruciating pain, and even though that meant I could finally walk free and feel relieved... the pain is still there, so it's too soon to look back.

There's one more thing. Tomorrow, Dr. D should get the results back from the lab where they took my tumour for inspection. It's only THEN that he will be able to decide what will happen to me next. The radiotherapy is definitely for sure. But there's a small chance I'll have to do more chemo... followed by more surgery...

So I can't be happy just yet. I can't say the worse is over yet. I can't plan anything until the next 24hours... Oh, God I don't want to think about it. We'll see...

Thanks for all the love and support. You know who you are :)