Scary

I don't think there's anything scarier than doing your first ever self-injection.

I was supposed to do mine at 1pm today, and I never really thought about it. My younger brother has diabetes and he injects himself several times a day, every day. It looks like the easiest thing on earth. So when Dr. Ig informed me that a nurse could come over to my house and do it, I refused and said I'd be fine... Yeah right!

By the time I finally decided to get everything ready it was already 2pm. I think I stood there for over 15 minutes with the needle ready and only a few millimetres away from my skin. I started to shake and hyperventilate and even shed a tear. It's the most unnatural thing to do!!! I boosted myself by putting my head phones on and listened to... Muse. The song "Exogenesis Symphony Part 2", with its slow piano start put me at ease. I tried to imagine myself floating around somewhere out of space. The sudden lyrics "you must rescue us all!" sounded like what my white blood cells might be crying out at me. Yes, I know... How silly, but it helped! That's when I packed up the courage to press the needle and... wtf? Nothing!

So much fear and anticipation for the biggest disappointment of all: it didn't hurt at all. Not one bit. How embarrassing...

I immediately went to bed after that, thinking the pain might kick in pretty soon and I didn't want to be awake. But it's 11.30pm right now, and I still feel pretty good actually. My afternoon nap has given me loads of energy.

So, now I've done everything to prevent the worse to happen I think. If I feel good on Monday, I even have another laser treatment planned for my tongue and mouth. We'll see.

Thank yo Muse. :P